Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
