Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
