I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
