And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
