Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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