Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
