we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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