Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
