Buhtt sex?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
