I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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