My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
