I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we're making bets on your personal life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
