gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
