so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
