Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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