Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
