there's paper in my vomit.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
