Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
