I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
