Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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