Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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