Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
