As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
not ubering you a puppy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
