its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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