i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
