its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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