He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
