Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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