Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm bleeding and have questions
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
