"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
