Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
