i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
