I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
