Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
