yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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