Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
