Small penises have feelings too.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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