dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
