need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is not my ceiling
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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