We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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