3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
