She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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