Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
