They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Everyone says I win the strip club
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
