I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
