i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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