watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm just crazy horny about you
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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