My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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