you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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