She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
