the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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